The comforts of my cage.

This cage I've built for myself, this routine I surrender to on a daily basis, it has become my life. It defines me in more ways than it should. Working the same job for six plus years impacts the way you think, the way you feel, your goals, friendships, the way you view humanity and the world.

I'm currently working on a lifestyle change. Monotony isn't good for the spirit or the mind. The fear of uncertainty has been holding me back for too long. Fear is preventing me from accomplishing great things. Fear is also holding me captive to the things that are hurting me.

Perhaps you could say I'm afraid of the future. The pressures of society are so strong, so embedded in fear. "You have a 'good' job, don't quit. How will you pay your rent? Don't take out student loans or you will be forever in debt. How will you live without health insurance?" Too many what-if's. 

But I will survive. I'm certainly not living now. The future can't possibly be more disastrous than than any other day or week in my life, can it?  What is so scary about "not knowing". It's the fear of change, of leaving a comfortable environment. I had the same problem when I ended my first long-term relationship. I couldn't fathom back then how greatly my life would be affected by that single decision. But since then I've traveled overseas multiple times, moved across the country and built new relationships with inspiring people.

With my past experiences you'd think I'd be good at handling change. I'm realizing that it takes practice, but mostly it takes a positive mindset. Instead of dwelling on what may "go wrong" I should meditate how great things could be.

The plan: quit my dead-end, stressful, anxiety-ridden, consumer-oriented, chemical filled, environmentally damaging job in January; go to school full time, take at least six months off of work, and use all the student loans I need.

Eight days!

Today is day eight.
Everything was going exceptionally well up until this point.
I woke up this morning feeling slightly dizzy, went to my juicer to make some juice, and started blacking out...(Wow, reading this makes it seem as though I'm self-destructive, I'm quite the opposite I swear!) Thought maybe I just hadn't consumed enough juice yesterday; my last 8oz. glass was consumed at 9pm but I didn't go to sleep until nearly 1am.

Quickly, I washed vegetables and made some juice in my very light-headed state, stumbled to the couch and drank the potion hoping its magic would restore me. I started feeling better..and then I started feeling worse. Wobbled to the bedroom, lay down on the bed. Stomach feeling a weirdly full bloated sensation I haven't felt in quite a while. Sat up to do some research...and then I puked 3 times. Damn. I tried drinking some water a bit later and puked another 2 times. 

Part of the purpose of a fast is to get in tune with your body, figure out what it needs, what it doesn't need. So what's wrong with mine? The only conclusion I've come to is this: I'm low on electrolytes. Either that or juiced some bad veggies, which I doubt because I've been consuming the same things the past week. So...I will listen to my body. Consuming chia seeds in water with a touch of salt as I type this (More on chia seeds in future post).Feeling better, light-headedness gone.

I called work and told them I would be at least an hour late as I needed time to recover from my vomiting attacks. But it's amazing how things work out and the sacrifices people make sometimes. I don't have to work at all today, and I'm not stuck feeling guilty about it either because my co-workers offered to work for me. Gratitude.

So since I'm trying to listen to my body here, I think my body is telling me it is done with subsisting on juice alone. Okay body, you win. It was fun while it lasted, and I never would've known what fasting was like unless I tried, right? I've felt more alive, energetic, and introspective in the past week than I have my whole life. Mentally I could have made it to day ten and beyond, but I can't ignore my physical self.

I have a greater appreciation for food, the science of cooking, and when and why I consume it.
14% of the world is starving. Half of the food produced in America is discarded before it even reaches the consumer. And most meals and snacks I've consumed in my life haven't been out of hunger, but out of stress or boredom. I really love food and the process of chewing and swallowing. I'm grateful that I'm not in the 14 percent. 

From here on out I will not be heedless when I take a bite of food.

Day Four

Ahhh...coming up towards the end of day 4 here! I never realized how much food had a hold on me until I stopped eating it. I'm a grazer...I'll eat bits and pieces of whatever is around me or available (within reason). Still I find myself opening the fridge or the cupboard doors looking for a snack. Then I remember- I can't eat.

The rest of day 2 and all of day 3 were difficult, I can't lie to myself about that! I wasn't physically hungry at all, I'm still consuming about 1500 calories a day through the juice alone. BUT mentally I wanted to eat anything and everything. I even had cravings for things I never eat, fried chicken for example.

Today is the best I've felt in weeks: I have a lot of energy and I'm feeling happier than I have in a while, my head feels clear.

Day Two

It's noon and I'm feeling pretty good! I was mentally prepared for headaches, nausea and other symptoms of detox but I'm feeling rather energetic.

I woke up feeling a bit disoriented and then I made 16 ounces of juice and felt full and revitalized.

Last night I slept better than I've slept in months (since moving to Denver actually!) and my dreams were very vivid.

In hindsight day one was quite easy, even though I was craving sugar the entire time I was at work, but I didn't cheat! 

Not eating solid food is foreign...I keep thinking, "Oh what should I cook today?" and watching Griffin chew is torture...I really miss chewing my food, there is something quite comforting about it. 

Getting Juicy

Starting tomorrow morning I will be embarking on a 10 day juice fast. I'm really excited, nervous and a little worried. I've never gone more than a day or two without food. I attempted a fast once when I was 16 but failed miserably, binging on pizza! Back then I didn't understand nutrition like I do now and I thought I could just drink bottled juice as long as it was all natural...WRONG! Live and learn. Side note: I had very poor self image back then and that was the only purpose for my fast.

My body has a life time of toxic build-up. I'm almost 26 and I've realized the things I've been consuming my entire life are bogging me down. I have no energy despite the fact that I eat relatively healthy, run a few miles a week and practice yoga on a daily basis.

So for the next couple of days I might be a cranky bitch, but I'm hoping to feel like a new woman at the end of it. Fresh squeezed juiced from my juicer about 4 times a day. Forty-eight to 64 ounces a day (depending on what my body is telling me) along with plenty of water.

The purpose of this fast is to give my digestive system a rest, increase my energy levels, reduce my cravings for sugar and salt, and to hopefully improve my overall mentality. 

I plan on making daily updates.

Free Time

Okay, this may sound like an advertisement...And perhaps it is, because when I find something great I want to share it with anyone who may appreciate it.


I have a new hobby. And no, it's not your typical sewing or gardening or learning a foreign language. In my free time over the last few weeks math and physics problems have become my escape, my entertainment! 


A friend of mine introduced me to Khan Academy, a great e-learning sight for anyone looking to brush up on skills or learn a new subject. It's really just an array of organized YouTube videos, but they are so thorough. I enjoy learning from video more than I thought I would due to the ability to pause or rewind at any moment.


Since I'm unable to afford classes for the time being this site is ideal. If you know me you know I love to learn, I may even have a slight addiction to school and studying. Well, now I can take in as many new concepts and brush up on ideas as much as my free time allows with all of the benefits (almost) of attending class. But the best part? There are no deadlines!

History is never written by those who've lost.

Have I told you that I love this man?

Swimming on shore of Gili Meno, Lombok Indonesia